Him: “You really need to sell this.”
Me: “Well, it’s going to be a really cheap sale.”

H: “This isn’t arm wrestling!”
M: “Yeah, but I’m winning, right?”

M: “You just spit on me.”
H: “You spit on me all the time.”

M: “Can I see that again?”
H: “Nope.”
M: “What if I say please?”

H: “What was that?”
M: “I have no idea.”

H: “That’s one variation.”
M: “Is that just a nice way to say wrong?”

H: “I was just messing around.”
M: “I can tell.”

H: “Let’s review that. You were really struggling with it last week.”
M: “I know, I got the bruises to prove it.”
M: “Me too.”

H: (While making car metaphors) “Have you ever driven stick?”
M: “No, I was just going to keep nodding ‘til you stopped talking.”

H: “Punk.”
M: “At least you’re not calling me jerk face anymore.”

H: “I didn’t lead that.”
M: “But it looked good, right?”

M: “Can you knock off the smile?”
H: “But that’s how they look!”
M: “You’re starting to scare me.”

H: “That felt better, right?”
M: “Yeah, it’s a lot easier with narration.”
H: “Everything’s easier with narration.”

H: “What are you doing?”
M: “I can’t look at you without laughing right now.”

M: “Now that’s just mean.”
H: “I’m just teasing.”
M: “So mean.”
H: “I only tease people I like.”